The Adelaide Advertiser

2^nd June, 2010

Dear Editor,

Thanks for featuring a picture of my show SKITCH TEASE (which involved me posing “nude” with my accordion) on your front page on 2^nd June.  It was great publicity for the Cabaret Fringe but also I was interested to see that the picture provoked some strong responses from readers.

Bob Beaner of Riverton commented, “If the comedic songs, stories and comments on her single life are interesting enough then surely Miss Skitch could perform without the nudity.” Bill of Gawler also agreed and wrote, “One can only hope that this rubbish is not supported in any way by the SA Govt and the tax payers”

(http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/baring-all-for-the-cabaret/story-e6frea83-1225874199787)

I would like to assure these readers that the material in my show has been developed and performed over the last ten years FULLY CLOTHED and brings the house down every time!  I also feel the need to reiterate that the accordion is strategically placed and so it creates the ILLUSION that I am naked.  The imagination is a powerful thing isn’t it?  (Bob and Bill’s comments are testament to this!).

I believe it is the role of artists in society not only to entertain but also to provoke thought and debate.  And it seems that my new show SKITCH TEASE has achieved both these things!

Kind regards,

Liz Skitch

I was about to embark on the marathon that is the Adelaide Fringe Festival; which is not an ordinary marathon… It does not involve any running, swimming or cycling. Instead it consists of four weeks of solid performing, flyering, partying, performing, flyering, drinking and more drinking. (I’d like to see Tony Abbot try THAT marathon! No actually, I’ve seen enough of him already)

A very important part of surviving this marathon is having somewhere half decent to stay. But the mission is finding accommodation has started to become more challenging for me in recent years as I am no longer in my early twenties and happy go lucky enough to share a room with 6 other randoms and possibly bed bugs. And there was not way I could afford a REAL flat – like the ones promoted for short term stays by Real Estate Agents advertising apartments that could only be afforded by artists if they formed the world’s largest spoon chain in the living room!

What was I going to do??!!! I revisited the Adelaide Fringe Festival website for the 100th time thinking; “It’s only two months away…surely there will be NOTHING on the accommodation billboard!”… when I saw an add for an opportunity that was too good to be true:

A local couple, working in the arts, had decided to turn their study into a bedroom by literally putting in a mattress of the floor, curtains over the windows and a door over the hole in the wall. The rent was miniscule …so what was the catch??

I rang the number and asked to talk to Jenn and she answered… She seemed normal. She seemed lovely! Then she said,“The room is still available, come stay!”.

So next thing you know I am on the plane headed 1500 km SW from Brisbane and the anxiety fuelled questions start to naw at my brain and the minature bottle of wine I’ve consumed only fuels them, “What will their place be like? What will they be like? What if they are strange??? What if I end up decomposing in a tank in their back yard!!! Why did I spend $7.50 on the world’s smallest bottle of wine!!!!???”

I arrive in the city of churches not a church in sight. It is 11 o’clock…. It is late.. will they be up? DON’T BE STUPID- THEY WORK IN THE ARTS!!!!

I get in and Jenn opens the door- she is only just home from work and throwing off her shoes. Her boyfriend is cracking a beer- he is a photographer still at uni and currently on holidays and hence always opening some sort of alcoholic beverage… my head screams, “Swingers!!!”

Sorry to disappoint the more adventurous readers but they didn’t turn out to be murderers or sexual deviants (with the exception of their dog, Tiger, who DID occasionally tried to root me or my matress).

So what was it like living with two total strangers for 5 weeks? Well after about 5 minutes we discovered we had so much in common that it felt like we had always known each other.

They are two of the best people I have met in my life. Their cool disposition, go with the flow attitude, unconditional support for my show way before they had even seen it- MY GOD! You can’t put a price on that kind of in kind support!!!

And now that I am back in Brisbane, we are still helping each other with networking and our companies are already materialising cultural exchange on a grass roots level. I believe this is truly the future for independent theatre companies!

Liz runs Brisbane based theatre company, deBASE productions. She premiered her solo show SKITCH TEASE at the Adelaide Fringe earlier this year and recently performed a return season in Adelaide at the Cabaret Fringe Festival.

Jenn runs Adelaide based theatre company, “vitalstatistix” and also independently produced PICKLED at the 2010 Adelaide Fringe.

If you are interested in renting out a room or billeting an artist- express your interest to your local festival- no matter how big or small it is.

It's tiny! It's red! Yes- I play it in the nude!

I am nearing the end of what has been a one month fling with hundreds of different people who have payed money to come and see me perform my comedy show, SKITCH TEASE, each night at the Adelaide Fringe Festival wearing nothing but a tiny red piano accordion.

And tiny is the operative word- just before flying down, my old piano accordion busted so I took it to Primo Pinn (Brisbane’s one stop Accordion Shop…well to put it more accurately, Brisbane’s one stop Accordion Shed… located out the back of Primo’s house in Macgregor).  He frowned, pulled it apart and after much prodding and more frowning he announced  (in an accent which is disappointing neither Italian nor German but broad Australian) “I can’t fix this in time love-”.  You can probably imagine that at this point I was feeling pretty nervous.  Then he disappeared into his shed and emerged with a TINY red accordion and said, “But you can have this one”.   (Please note, it looked even tinier when held by Primo who is a 6ft 4, broad shouldered, giant of a man).  I hesitated, wondering if it would cover my privates, he warned, “Take it sweetheart or I’ll change my mind”.   “I suppose I can perform the act sitting down”, I squeaked, giggled and the rest is history.

Primo had no idea what I was planning to do with his tiny red piano accordion but since borrowing it I have been sending him various press clippings and photos of his squeezebox and its adventures… I haven’t had this much fun since stealing my neighbour’s garden gnome!

I think local street mag “Rip It Up” summed up my reasons for doing this better than I could myself:

“Any smart performer knows that as soon as you stick the words “nude”, “sex” or “Twilight” in the description for your Fringe show, you’ll instantly prick interest (or is that interest pricks?)”

But marketing is not my only motivation for taking it all off (and then strapping it on).  When it comes to art making, I have always dared to be different and at age 33, what can I say? I have tried pretty much everything; from throwing myself on a bed of goon bladders as a form of circus stunt to developing a strange addiction to wearing Mumus.  It is hard to be original- particularly at the second largest Fringe in the world with over 700 acts- but here I am, the only nude accordionist at the festival.  And it is not as though I went straight to nudity, I had dabbled in nude suits for a number of years and it was time to take off the training wheels.

This concept made perfect sense to me, however, was a bit much for poor old Mum and Dad, who expressed their concern by sitting me down and announcing, “Lizzie, we are worried that you are going to ruin your reputation”.  To which I responded, “What reputation?! That is the whole point of the exercise- I am trying to GET ONE!!!”.

And in the end, there was no need to be worried about hordes of dodgy men in overcoats showing up for the wrong reasons…although there was that one show attended by a bunch of boys on a bucks night…but they were sufficiently titillated and thankfully pretty well behaved.  Turns out that the show mostly attracted middle aged to elderly couples… not unlike my Mum and Dad!

So how was the show received?  I liked the Adelaide Advertiser reviewer’s balanced opinion of the show:

“While her skills on the accordion are unlikely to blow you away, Skitch’s effervescent persona, clever blend of humour and nice touch or crowd interaction are likely to bring smiles and laughter.”

What next? I will be performing a season of SKITCH TEASE at The Brisbane Powerhouse from 20th-  22nd May, until then, I think I will be heading to Primo’s for some weekly accordion lessons!

If you were asked out on a date by the guy you lost your virginity to fifteen years ago…would you go?  Most probably wouldn’t.  I suppose it depends what the event was like. I think for most of us it is either forgettable or something that we would like to forget. Well, curiosity got the better of me and I thought – why not?!  If he wants to have another crack at the Title, he must have improved! 

I think he was genuinely surprised that I agreed to meet up… the fact that the date was dressed up in the form of tickets to see Lily Allen did help.  Still, I think he is pretty lucky that I said yes – after all- he is the one that dumped me all those years ago.  We lasted a few months but in the end he told me that I wasn’t cool enough for him.  Nor did I want to be- I have always considered “coolness” a disease that kills individualism and makes one self absorbed and often paranoid.   But these days- I seem to have  become “cool” by default- and therefore desirable to the kind of guy who want to spice up his life with an alternative actor type.

So how was the date?  Lily Allen was brilliant!  But how was the date?  Lily Allen really was fantastic! 

But no- I have to admit that hanging out with the old flame was undeniably fun.  We stood up the back, drank beer, caught up and it kind of felt a bit like we were teenagers again- cute!

And the blog ends here- after all- my mother reads this!  But my mind did play out the fantasy of trying it again for old times sake.  It would go like this:

Me:               My, My, haven’t you grown!

Him:            Check out my new moves

(Later, morning)

Him:           I can’t believe that the girl I dumped 15 years ago has become the woman of my dreams. 

Me:             Wow that’s really nice but I’m sorry, you’re just not cool enough for me.