Liz Skitch

I am nearing the end of a season of SKITCH TEASE at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and it has been full of its highs and lows. I arrived with a perfectly polished show that has had a string of successful seasons in Australia, invested glossy posters and a sexy advert in the festival guide thinking that this could be my big break!

Instead, the experience had been one of the toughest artistic challenges of my career. It has been painfully reminiscent of my time training with Philippe Gaulier, which a journalist once described as “Open heart surgery without the anaesthetic”. Yes, that is how it feels for a performer when a gag is greeted by complete silence.

But please let me assure you that it has not all been bad. I have also experienced some of my best ever shows this festival. Yes, best ever! When the audience has not only been rolling with laughter but has also (collectively) fallen deeply in love with me.

So how is it that exactly the same show can bring the house down one night, and then the very next, barely provoke a giggle? Well, if each show is a scientific experiment, in which the one constant is the performer then it must be due to the audience. Excellent! Blame the audience! And once a performer blames the audience it opens up a world of excuses for why the show went down like a lead balloon. “They were tired”, “They came with the wrong expectations”, “They were too sober”…

I wish I was could just blame the audience, instead, I take personal responsibility for the level of enjoyment experienced by each and every ticket holder for every minute of my show. If I could blame the audience then perhaps I could avoid the sleepless nights and the habit I have developed of talking to myself in public in order to unravel my steadily growing paranoia.

But the fact of the matter is that the answers lie in the things that are most difficult to admit to one’s self. After a couple of weeks of riding the SKITCH TEASE rollercoaster, I admitted that maybe it wasn’t THEM, it was ME. And once the artist realizes this, the real work begins.

Over the course of the next week, I took to my show with a scalpel, a glue stick and needle ‘n thread. I cut out the old, inserted the new, discovered a fresh flavour and changed the entire order of the piece. I like it much more now, the only way is up from here… or should I say, until my next tough crowd!

Found him busking on the Royal Mile… Hmmmm, maybe a wee bit too young?

Introducing Guido (Germany) and Davey (Scotland)- both performing in the Tattoo. Guido says he frequently plays the Bagpipes in the nude and would be comfortable with a cameo in SKITCH TEASE. Davey, however, said that he would prefer not to upset The Queen.

With Edinburgh Festival Fringe well under way, Australian performer Liz Skitch has given us a little peek into her life in Scotland. In her usual revealing fashion, she chats to Cabaret Confessional about embarrassing the teenage boys in the audience, her six (!) nipples and possibly taking up the cello.

An intimate cabaret and children’s comedy theatre – you’re putting on two VERY different shows. How do you switch your mindset? Do you ever get confused?

Occasionally I accidently hand a naked accordion flyer to a 3 year old! And it is only in my nightmares that I arrive on stage at 2 o’clock in the afternoon and realise I am wearing nothing but piggy tales and clown shoes!

What do you miss about home in Brisbane?

“I miss being a D grade celebrity”, says Liz, flicking her golden curls and smiling coyly.

But seriously, a little bit of fame can come in handy when you are a performer. Press respond to your calls and you don’t have to convince people that you are worth coming to see.

What would you like to take back home with you from Edinburgh?

Hopefully my health! Most nights I huddle up not one but two coats on my way home from the theatre. But also my sanity! This festival really tests a performer and takes you from highs to lows several times within one day…

On your blog, you mentioned that a woman who saw the flyer for your show offered remedy for cracked nipples. Is that one of the occupational hazards of being a nude accordionist?

Yes, especially when you have six nipples to take care of… (the rumours are true)

You talk about your mum in Skitch Tease. How did she react when she found out that she’s in the show?

She actually loves it. Mum especially loves the song that is about her. So much so that at a family reunion last Christmas, she made me play it for everyone. Needless to say, I kept my clothes on for that private performance.

What advice would you give other performers who are thinking about taking a show to the Ed Fringe?

No matter how much you try to stand out, you will never be able to compete with the tattooed man on the 12-foot tall unicycle, juggling a chainsaw, a butchers’ knife and a baby!

How would you describe your Ed Fringe audience?

Conservative. I seem to be attracting mostly middle-aged couples, but the bizarre thing is that they have been bringing along their teenage kids! Who would have thought that Skitch Tease would be fun for the whole family?! Having said that, it is working really nicely and adds to the comedy- that is the beauty of innuendo; everyone gets it but no one gets offended. Needless to say, I take full advantage of embarrassing the hell out of any teenage boys in the audience. I am afraid that one day when they eventually get to a strip club, they will be like, “But where are the accordions?!”

Would you ever consider changing from the accordion to, say, the cello?

That is a great idea! Stay tuned for Skitch Tease 2. Might take me 10 years to learn the cello but that would be an achievement! By the time I am 80 I could be performing Skitch Tease 6 on the euphonium!

Skitch Tease, An intimate cabaret, C aquila, 5th- 29th August, 10.30pm

Hurry Up and Wait, A physical comedy for children, C aquila, 5th- 29th August, 2.40pm

By day I wear pigtails, rosy cheeks and clown shoes and by night I don false eyelashes, fishnets and high heels. In one disguise I hand flyers to families and children on the high street and in the other I slip into bars and charm anyone that is sober enough into attending a late night show. In one show I am fully clothed and the other, completely naked… apart from a piano accordion. Sometimes I produce the wrong flyer and give away my disguise completely!

It can be fun when this happens… Most mums and dads make jokes about ‘what if you got the two shows confused?!’ or jest over who will look after the kids that night. Many women, on finding out that I actually get naked in my cabaret show say, ‘That’s brave”, but really, I think that is the easy part, it is making people laugh that takes bravery. But most people want to know if playing the accordion naked is ‘dangerous’.

I had one mum with baby on hip declare after taking one look at my flyer “Paw paw cream”. “Pardon?”, I said. “Paw paw cream”, she repeated, “for cracked nipples…I used it when breast feeding this wee one”.

I guess the Scottish are difficult to offend!

Skitch Tease, An intimate cabaret, Edinburgh Fringe, C aquila, 5th- 29th August, 10.30pm

Hurry Up and Wait, A physical comedy for children, Edinburgh Fringe, C aquila, 5th- 29th August, 2.40pm